Late night coffee thoughts

Heyyyyy.

So first of all, I LOVE COFFEE but it has been so long since I last drank coffeeee. Bc I kinda drank it almost everyday during school bc I gotta stay awake yo and I realized this and I told myself to   s t o p   bc too much, Bea. So I now I feeeel so drunk bc it’s been a long time. #what??

The way I’m writing right now is really weird whew. I just watched like a ton of My Drunk Kitchen Videos from Hannah Hart’s youtube channel. I think she’s really cool and funny. You should watch her now. Seriously. Amazing. I think her videos are the reason why I’m talking like this. It’s like how she is in videos… i think? Well, that’s how I’m writing it in my head yo.  [ actually her videos were the reason I poofed coffee from an espresso maker. Why you may ask?? Bc she was drinking in her videos and it was just making me want to drink so I drank coffee….. ]

Oh well life is fun!!!

But all this coffeeeee just makes me emotional like I’m about to cry for no apparent reason. Or is there……

A C T U A L L Y, there is.

[ ooooh. a e s t h e t i c s. I like how the space bar makes the word look so much cooler ]

B U T before I cry and let everything out [  hey, crying is good and healthy. Let it all out, girl.    L e t    i t    a l l    o u t  ] I would just love to give a good shout out to my new wordpress friend!!! Hiiii SpellAyna!! [I am so FC Hehehe] Thank you for nominating me for the Liebster Award. I will post the challenge tomorrow because now i just want to be emotional and release my inner crying baby personality-ish.

I decided to do it tomorrow because as I was reading her post about it, it was just so hard for me to focus and concentrate on the words written there. It’s like I was about to cry for what she was saying although it wasn’t really something emotional. She was just explaining the “challenge” for the first few sentences and I just wanted to cry….. You know what I mean? No? okay.

I think this is hormones…… Blame it on the hormones……. Because I am a girl….. and I have hormones… Ha *sarcasm*

 

 

B a e   :   L e t t i n g   i t   o u t

 

I have so many questions in my head and it’s so hard.

A while ago I was thinking what would my life look like in the future? Before it was sooo clear ya know. But now I’m not sure anymore. Okay, Bea, let’s review your life.

When I was an Entrepreneurship Student at UST, I was like “Yeah. I’m gonna make the best restaurant ever. I’ll make patties with cheese inside because why not. I’m gonna make a “Cheeztopia” restaurant *hi Phineas and Ferb makers i love you and i love your show why did it end* for my love of cheese.” But then my friend from San Beda who’s now studying at UP *Yeah you go girl* said she’s transferring to UP and then she asked me how my grades are and then I told myself why not transfer as well since my grades were okay.

So I said “Okay. I’m just gonna try it and see what happens. If I pass then great!! I’ll be an iska. But if not, that’s still great because I’ll continue my path as an entrepreneurship student.”

Choosing my course in UP became a 50/50 spontaneous act. My first two choices were related to computers which is so not me but I knew that the demand for computer related courses were such a boom and then my last choice was Interior Design. Which was so shocking because when I was in high school, Interior Design never even crossed my mind. It was either fashion or business. I can actually choose clothing technology in UP but my gut was leaning more to Interior Design. Weird. But, I went for it anyway and, then, I passed all the tests and interview!! Which is amazing and I owe it all to God. Thank you so much Lord!

Anyway, my whole two years in ID was such a blast. It was full of ups and downs. I met and became close with such amazing people. It was really bursting with a lot of lessons learned and new discoveries.

A n d , t h e n….. just recently, a new opportunity came up. An opportunity for me to work. At first, I can feel my guts telling me to apply for the job. I did and I sent my resume and everything. I kept telling it to friends and my ate’s friends and just everyone and they gave me a lot of opinions and words of wisdom. [ Thank you by the way ]. So, I said to myself, “I can’t just rely on my guts this time? or should I?” I mean, a lot of great things happened when I followed it, but then, there’s also this question if it was really my gut feeling telling me these things. Soooo many factors. So many questions….

I prayed for it and I kept praying for it until now. I’m praying for God’s plans for me and I’m hoping that whichever path I take, it is according to His will.

But, I still have to make a decision. Actuallyyyy, it is so exciting to decide. Well, you can either see it as something positive or negative.

Positive tone: It is so exciting!! All the wonders you can still do [you know, school and Interior Design] or all the new wonderful things you yet to explore [the new opportunity / work].

Negative tone: It is so hard because the choice I will make may be my life for the rest of my *breathes* life. And, in whatever choice I will make, I should be able to stick with it and not regret it. This is not just doing it for just trying it. If I get accepted, I can’t just try it for a month then go back to studying. Like what the others said, I am thinking the same thing… “It’s going to be a life-changing decision.”

I am stuck in-between these two. *cries*

Hi friends from outside my world. Any thoughts? I actually have so much more things on my mind which I’m not afraid to tell ya’ll. But, this is all for now. Wow. That was pretty long. If you read all these, thank you so much. I felt better writing it. If you’re in the same situation as mine or something’s just bothering you, just comment below. Let’s talk 🙂

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4 responses to “Late night coffee thoughts

  1. Pingback: The Liebster Award | Bae next door·

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